A Reflective Moment
Last week a coworker came and asked me a question. She asked me how if she should use African American or Black when referring to our coworker Matt’s girlfriend. I said that it was probably acceptable to use them interchangeably, although if she was speaking to a POC, it might be different.
What I found notable, however, was not the question itself, but what she was actually asking me and why. She seemed to believe that Nishe’s (Matt’s girlfriend) race had to be mentioned in asking Matt how she was doing. I replied that I thought it was appropriate to simply ask: “How is Nishe doing?
It provided me a moment to reflect on and think about ideas of race and also to wonder how Liz, my coworker, thought it should somehow be included in asking so simple a question. Why? Liz is Latina. Liz is also a lesbian. What difference should that make? Well none, in terms of any kind of judgement or valuation, that I can think of. I suppose I found it notable that, for some, it’s important to include racial references in the most commonplace inquiries. And I also wondered how the question would be received if asked in a comparable situation…
“How is your lesbian, Latina girlfriend doing?”
I know markers and identifiers are important in some contexts. I suppose some individuals might now know what those contexts are. Since I cannot know for sure, I can’t honestly comment.
If you read this, I’m curious what you think. Please feel free to share any comments or insights you have.
Thanks for reading.
